Custom Kustom: Adding a 3-Prong Plug

Doktor Ross Sewage6 Comments

Here’s another one for the boss man himself, Mauz from Kicker / Dystopia. He got this amp years ago and it was his go to for a long time. The Kustom 150 was sold as combo amp, but this one had been freed from its moorings and placed into what amounted to a cardboard box. Mauz had a new box built for it by our shop neighbor Chris. It looked nice now, but little did Mauz realize, this amp COULD KILL HIM.

but it looks so innocent
but it looks so innocent

This oldie-but-a-goodie was wired with a two-prong plug, as was the standard for all electronics before people stopped being idiots. That’s fine for a toaster. But when you have a guitar in your hands, you become part of the circuit. Without a connection to to actual earth, a.k.a. common ground, any AC electricity accidentally loosed onto the amp’s chassis will only find you. Zap.

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Ghoul’s Burning Questions #4

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My good friend (name-drop) Cremator hosts Ghoul’s Burning Questions show. I feel like you should check out the latest episode. Quite a few of their live antics are included in this one. I think he makes many reasoned and cogent suppositions on the show. Quite a handsome fellow, too.

5 Practical Pieces of Financial Advice for Pomplamoose

Doktor Ross Sewage4 Comments

You may have read the article going the rounds about car-advertising band Pomplamoose. If not, read it here: https://medium.com/@jackconte/pomplamoose-2014-tour-profits-67435851ba37

In this article, half of the duo making up Pomplamoose explains that it’s very hard and expensive to tour. With this basic conjecture, I agree. Then Jack details how their recent big tour cost $147,000 while they “only” made $135,000 on the road. Exqueeze me? Pardon me while I choke down the “go fuck yourself” itching to get out my throat.

Whoops, couldn't hold it in
Whoops, couldn’t hold it in

Buddha says calm the fuck down. Pomplamoose, despite having made big bucks on iTunes, YouTube, and advertising cars, is an indie band. They are independent of a label and make quite a bit of dough releasing their own music; the dream come true. Sure, sometimes that music straight up rips off Prince’s Let’s Go Crazy or something, but hey, sometimes our band rips off S.O.D. (all the time). And sure, he’s got a website he co-founded that gets millions of dollars in investment money to fall back on. But we are musicians and therefore brethren of a sort. The first Impaled tour lost money, too,  but we learned (to not agree to a $50 guarantee ever again). So let’s be constructive and see how we might help Pomplamoose make ends meet so poor Jack doesn’t have to fall back on that multi-million dollar start-up he’s got going.

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Melvins Atlanta Poster: A Tale of Two Titties

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When asked about being part of a tour poster series, I have to think with my (empty) wallet. Almost all of these tour poster series are pay-to-play. After I get assigned whatever city, I have to come up with a poster I think I can sell on my own after the show. It would probably be easier if I had a bunch of pictures of mystical goats and sacred geometry lying about to slap a band logo on, but I don’t. This is what Atlanta gets from me for a Melvins poster.

selfie
What the fuck is that about?

Yes… some kind of sign and two crushed beer cans. Inexplicable, right? Well, after a show I played last fall in Atlanta, we went to this place called the Clermont Lounge. It’s a world famous dive and strip-club known for its older, wider strippers. One of its most notorious acts is Blondie, a mature BBBW who crushes cans with her boobies. The next day I asked Amos of Atlanta’s Death of Kings what was notable for a gig poster in Atlanta. “Well, you just went to the Clermont Lounge.” Duh.

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I Love Analog: Confessions of an Asshole

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[Originally published in the August 2014 issue of Bulldozer Magazine]

Back in the ‘90s, I went to a Good Guy’s Electronics store. I was looking for a new record player as my old one had broken. I couldn’t find any, so I asked the salesman for help. “You want a what?” We found a floor model and it was literally the last record player they had. I tried to explain that some people still listened to records. If I didn’t have a record player, how could I listen to “Welcome to my Bone Yard” by Impetigo over and over? The salesman didn’t care. He thought I was an idiot for wanting to hold onto my vinyl. I thought he was an idiot for never having known the majesty of Ultimo Mondo Cannibale.

My vinyl collection is Dis-Organ-Ized.

Believe it or not, there was a time when you had to explain what a vinyl record was at a show. “Are you guys selling calendars or something?” No, little one, this gigantic thing plays music. But now records are back. I watched as they climbed back into the awareness of folks’ minds as a collectible item while the ubiquity of iPods and digital files collapsed the music industry into a whimpering baby without its binky.

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Swans poster: die Tür ist auf

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On Swans most recent tour, I was able to do contribute art for their show in Berlin. I decided to pay tribute to the time Swans was most influential on me.

IMG_2745
Available for purchase here: https://www.doktorsewage.com/?p=1590

In 1997 I saw the final tour of Swans in San Francisco and was floored. Their mid-90s death knell is still my favorite period of Swans, employing bombastic rhythms juxtaposed with eerie and unsettling quiet passages. They also had a minimalist aesthetic to their art that stuck out next to the early Photoshop boon of horrid album covers in the ’90s. I had to figure out how to reflect this vision and celebrate Berlin, one of my favorite cities in the world.

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SOMArts Day of the Dead Exhibition

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The SOMArts Day of the Dead Exhibition is an annual celebration based on the traditions of Mexican culture. In this case, a bunch of arty farty types put their twist on it in a gallery in San Francisco. The entire warehouse space is transformed into a bunch of cells with some really amazing work by different artists. Some are more traditional, honoring specific dead people, but by and far the most exhibitors honor the death of ideas. Hey, they’re arty farty. This year, I was able to help my friend Lia realize her installation and it came out smashingly good.

IMG_3284

We made Grandma’s house, replete with decay and creepy furniture. The installation itself took shape based upon the photos included in the piece. Lia owns a couple of amazing wolf-dogs (20% dog, 80% wolf). She employed my lovely wife to be her model in a Day of the Dead version of Little Red Riding Hood. Do you want to take a trip to Grandma’s house through scary West Oakland?

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Pedal Bored 2: The Continuationing

Doktor Ross Sewage2 Comments

I have detailed my previous pedal board project before. It was nice, quaint, and worked. Now onto the sequel, which needed to be bigger, badder, and grittier. Like The Dark Knight, but with better monster voice.

My precious(eses)!
My precious(eses)!

I needed more. Specifically, I needed more room. I’ve actually decreased the number of pedals I use, but added some junk like a wireless system, an iPod controller, and a DI. I also wanted a box that wasn’t just set aside, but that was part of the package.

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