We’re Cold Slither part 2

2025/12/162025/12/16 Doktor Ross SewageLeave a comment

In my previous posting, I detailed the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I had to be in the band Cold Slither and become a real-life part of G.I. Joe, my favorite toyline of all time. Well, turns out it was more than a once-in-a-lifetime experience, because we got to take a bite out of the Big Apple last October.

I knew before we played at San Diego Comic Con the previous July that there was a Cold Slither comic coming out in October. New York City Comic Con was in October. If we didn’t fuck up our initial appearance, I figured it was a shoe in that we would play in New York. Well, even before we left the backstage in San Diego, the Hasbro crew were like “so, we heard you’ll be with us in New York.” Can I get a “hell yeah.”

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We’re Cold Slither part 1

2025/12/152025/12/15 Doktor Ross SewageLeave a comment

Towards the end of January, 2024, I got a call from Gus Rios of Gruesome and Left to Die. I didn’t answer the phone, however, as I was busy at work. I was like, I’ll call Gus later. It can’t be important, we’re not in a band together, but sometimes we chat about toys. Whatever new G.I. Joe thing is coming out, he can tell me about it later. Then I get text from Matt Harvey who is a bandmate to both me and Gus. Matt’s is insistent that I call Gus back immediately. It’s urgent. So I do… and Gus does want to talk about a new G.I. Joe thing coming out. And the new thing is us. We’re going to be the band from the G.I. Joe cartoon. We’re going to be Cold Slither.

In some backroom deal with Tomax and Xamot, Gerardo at Reigning Phoenix Music had gotten the rights to create Cold Slither in real life and to put out an album. Gerardo, also a toy collector, had called his old friend Gus, knowing that Gus had expressed an interest in doing Cold Slither as a real band. Hell, he and I had talked about it in 2020, but I thought it was more of a lark: a pipe dream. Now Gus, with a little bit of help from Matt, had the deal to write and record an actual album. And we were going to play San Diego Comic-Con. And it was all based around the release of a new toy showcasing the band. And it’s official. We’re toys. Continue reading “We’re Cold Slither part 1” →

Mondo Morley Medicale: RWV Rotating Wah

2014/03/072014/06/28 Doktor Ross Sewage23 Comments

So you think you’re analog, eh? You always use physical faders for your volume swells, you only record to tape, and you have that nifty vibrato guitar pedal with a BBD IC chip. I call bullshit. That’s not analog enough! An IC chip? Well, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, but no arigato. If you want that pedal to be even more analog, you need to send your guitar signal through an aluminum disc covered in oil to rubber pickups. WTF? Here’s one of the biggest stomp boxes you’re likely to ever see, the Tel-Ray Morley RWV Rotating Wah.

Raymond Lubow invented the oil can echo in the 1960s for his company, Tel-Ray Electronics, to be a more reliable device than the tape-based echoes of the time. Smaller than a tape echo, it was also able to be added by amplifier manufacturers to their products. It uses an aluminum disc rotating in an electrostatic oil which brushes against conductive rubber pickups to carry the sound. Raymond used the same technology to create the Morley rotating speaker simulator and shove it into a pedal. The name was a pun on the Leslie (less-lee) rotating cabinet speaker. Thus a company was born and we all got ever-so confused. Now imagine you have a broken one. Fuck.

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Mic Hunt: Shure SM7B

2014/02/28 Doktor Ross SewageLeave a comment

I have an Amazon Wish List a mile long. They’re dreamy items because I dream of having disposable income to spend on them. Maybe some dreamy billionaire who reads my blog will think I deserve a present. On Christmas Day, my brother surprised me with what he dubbed a “baller gift” from said list. He’s had a good financial year, so he gifted accordingly with a Shure SM7B. Fuck to the yeah.

IMG_1584a — I’m even more excited to play with the box.

I don’t own much in the way of equipment that’s not been used. Like, almost nothing. It’s a big deal for me to get something like this without a hunt on craigslist. I’ve wanted a really good vocal mic for some time and the Shure SM7B fit the bill. If it’s good enough for Michael Jackson, then it’s good enough for me. That same logic is how I also got addicted to prescription drugs and why I’m always trying to hang out with Macaulay Culkin.

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S.H.I.E.L.D.ing a guitar

2013/09/272014/06/28 Doktor Ross SewageLeave a comment

or, Strategic Harmony Interference Elimination and Lead Defense.

Guitar pickups are electro-magnetic transducers that use changing magnetic fields to induce pulses of alternating current electricity from a coil of copper wire at voltages reproducing audible sine wave frequencies in relation to an absolute ground. I think. Sometimes I prefer the definition as proposed by Messrs. Dope and J; magnets are a “miracle.” Unfortunately, the latter definition does nothing to help understand why my bass might be buzzing like a bee chainsawing an alarm clock when the FOH sound guy turns the lights on and off. There’s two ways to solve the problem. One, you can learn to play the chainsaw.

ross-chainsaw2-thm — it works for that dude in Exhumed

Or two, you can shield your guitar. Truth be told, it should probably be shielded from you: throwing it around, spilling beer on it, bleeding on it… and by “you” I mean “me.” But the shielding I refer to will protect that precious guitar signal of malodorous melodies from the buzzing bullshit of the outside world.

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Barrel Jacks are Fucking Bullshit

2013/09/062013/09/26 Doktor Ross SewageLeave a comment

Sean was nice enough to give me a guitar to use for demoing songs as we write a new record. It was a Halo guitar. I don’t know much about the company, but I’ve had to do some re-working in a few questionable construction issues to get this one up to snuff. One thing that sucked is the cable jack. It was the barrel style. Frankly, they’re total bullshit.

See the tines you can bend back into shape when it loses grip on a plug? No, you don’t, because they don’t exist. These things are notorious for breaking down and needing replacement. I’d had to replace one of Dan’s on the last tour we did in America. Basically, they’re longer, so I guess they’re used to avoid doing a good routing job on a guitar body. The nice people at Halo glued theirs in with wood putty, so that made replacement a non-cinch. I had to rip the fucker out.

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The NEW Ampeg V-4B

2013/08/302013/08/31 Doktor Ross Sewage2 Comments

Wow, that is something I thought I’d never see… a NEW Ampeg V-4B. While I was doing a search for something else related to my OLD V-4B, I came across the press that this month, Ampeg has re-introduced my favorite all time bass amp back into their line-up. Ain’t she a beaut!

It’s funny that they’ve recreated the V-4B, as the original was a guitar amp. They added the B when bass players started using it, changed a few caps, and ditched the reverb. As a guitar amp, it ruled, but as a bass amp, it surprisingly ruled even harder.

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Cry, Killbot, Cry! EHX V256 Vocoder Pedal

2012/10/052015/01/12 Doktor Ross Sewage3 Comments

There’s nothing impressive about a seven and a half foot tall robot that’s mute. That’s the issue we were having with Sean’s literal diabolus ex machina, the Killbot. Sean had made an impressive robot costume, lit up by yours truly which I covered in a previous post. He’s replete with spikes, claw, glowing brain, and a giant pepper-spray cannon. But his titular song called for the robot to do vocals. Being total nonces when it comes to playing along with a click-track and samples, we were stuck with a voiceless leviathan… and then came along the Electro-Harmonix V256 Vocoder Pedal.

Yes, it’s a tad thrashed. We play “thrash metal,” after all. And when Killbot springs forth from backstage, it is a sight to behold. He towers over us, punches me in the head, sprays the crowd, and it’s even better when he’s got something to say. The V256, released sometime in 2009, was just what we were looking for to complete this part of our act.

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