Category: Live

The Long and Grinding Road Part 3 – Return to Oz

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Thank GOD I already got my photo with a koala on our trip to Australia three years ago, because apparently they don’t allow that shit no more. I hate to imagine what the dumb fucker did to a koala to have them completely ban the practice of paying to hold nature’s stupidest and most cutest creation. In any case, we were going to have fun, because those cunts down under are always fun. And we would be joined by Gabe “Black Seebs of Vengeance” Seeber on the skins.

I didn’t really know Gabe before this trip, but I’m glad he could fill in because he’s a solid ass player and a very fucking nice guy to hang out with. Speaking of nice guys to hang out with, how about this cunt?

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The Long and Grinding Road Part 2 – Europe

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It was really annoying watching all our contemporaries get to Europe post-lockdown. Hell, even Matt got to go with his other bands a few times. Exhumed was forever the bridesmaid, having to cancel two, maybe three trips because of bad booking. This year, we finally made it back to the Old World to eat all the bread and cheese. Oh, and Gruesome came, too. So Matt got to go twice, the fucker.

The Long and Grinding Road continued across the Atlantic. The first stop was Scotland for the Lords of the Land Fest. We got into our hotel and the first thing everyone did was get stupid drunk and Adam and Baz ended up wrestling in my hotel bed.

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A Slight Detour with the Bag Heads

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So right in-between a couple of Exhumed tours, the boys in the bags had a coupla gigs lined up. One lined up for like more than a year. The now infamous C.Y. Fest. It was supposed to be a great fest, a great pay out, and if you don’t know what happened, look it up. It’s too much for me to go into but bad people got into bad things and near every band, including us, dropped out. But lo came a savior, and their name was the Subhumans, who generously let us join their pick up bill at the 1720 in Los Angeles! So, we repacked our bags for Los Angeles.

That was an amazing gig. Totally sold out. Line around the block. And we know some people on staff who hooked us up with amazing home made salsa! The crowd was bananas, but one guy was a rotten apple.

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We’re Cold Slither part 2

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In my previous posting, I detailed the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I had to be in the band Cold Slither and become a real-life part of G.I. Joe, my favorite toyline of all time. Well, turns out it was more than a once-in-a-lifetime experience, because we got to take a bite out of the Big Apple last October.

Cold Slither hanging out in Hell's Kitchen

I knew before we played at San Diego Comic Con the previous July that there was a Cold Slither comic coming out in October. New York City Comic Con was in October. If we didn’t fuck up our initial appearance, I figured it was a shoe in that we would play in New York. Well, even before we left the backstage in San Diego, the Hasbro crew were like “so, we heard you’ll be with us in New York.” Can I get a “hell yeah.”

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We’re Cold Slither part 1

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Towards the end of January, 2024, I got a call from Gus Rios of Gruesome and Left to Die. I didn’t answer the phone, however, as I was busy at work. I was like, I’ll call Gus later. It can’t be important, we’re not in a band together, but sometimes we chat about toys. Whatever new G.I. Joe thing is coming out, he can tell me about it later. Then I get text from Matt Harvey who is a bandmate to both me and Gus. Matt’s is insistent that I call Gus back immediately. It’s urgent. So I do… and Gus does want to talk about a new G.I. Joe thing coming out. And the new thing is us. We’re going to be the band from the G.I. Joe cartoon. We’re going to be Cold Slither.

Cold Slither band photo

In some backroom deal with Tomax and Xamot, Gerardo at Reigning Phoenix Music had gotten the rights to create Cold Slither in real life and to put out an album. Gerardo, also a toy collector, had called his old friend Gus, knowing that Gus had expressed an interest in doing Cold Slither as a real band. Hell, he and I had talked about it in 2020, but I thought it was more of a lark: a pipe dream. Now Gus, with a little bit of help from Matt, had the deal to write and record an actual album. And we were going to play San Diego Comic-Con. And it was all based around the release of a new toy showcasing the band. And it’s official. We’re toys. Continue reading “We’re Cold Slither part 1” →

October Surprise

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So, after coming back from Hawai’i with Exhumed and playing a one off with Impaled at the California Death Fest pre-fest show one day later, I had less than a week to make preparations; it was time for the slack-jawed hooded menaces to once again hit the road and for some good old fashioned monster-on-monster crime. This was to be immediately followed by another short Halloween run with Exhumed. FML.

Our first gig was at the Phoenix Theater in Petaluma. I’ve played here twice with Exhumed before, once with Revocation. The other time was my very first show with Exhumed in the 1990s where I happened to give myself a nasty little scar on my chest by cutting myself, purposefully, on stage, in a moment of extreme edge-lord-ness. Don’t let your babies grow up to be edge-lords.

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Volcanic Strike 2 with Exhumed

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Back in 2020, when Exhumed was planning to jet set to Japan, South Korea, New Zealand, and Australia, I told Matt we should book a show in Hawai’i on the way. “Why? he asked. It’s a reasonable question, to be fair. It’s a smaller population, it’s expensive to get there, infrequently booked by bands, and we would’ve certainly lost money doing it. My only reason was because I wanted to flex that I’ve played Hawai’i. Well, the world shut down, all the plans were cancelled.

Somehow, however, I willed into being Exhumed playing in Hawai’i. In summer of 2024, the people behind Volcanic Strike made the call and we were booked for an October date. Being part of a fest was a much more attractive offer. Sure, airfare and lodging were sure to eat into our budget significantly, but now we’d at least have a guaranteed audience of festival attendees. We made the plans, and the plans grew. It’s fucking trip to Hawai’i; there was no way we were not going to take advantage of a trip to the lush island of Maui.

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Getting FUBAR In Edmonton

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Our band of hooded maniacs was asked to play the first ever Infest Edmonton Metal Festival over Labor Day weekend. We would all have the day off, so why not labor over our love of music? We headed out to check out the scene in the Energy Province.

We got some free drinks and booze courtesy of Sean’s fancy ass credit card that got us into the airport lounge. That was good because we’d just spend almost $600 on luggage fees. Even though we whittled it down to just two Enki double-guitar cases for all 3 stringers, all those monster costumes and merch add up. And West Jet was in no mood to cut as a deal. I always tell my dad our guarantees so we look like big shots, but truth is, all that money gets eaten real quick with expenses for a dumb gimmick band like ours.

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