Ghoulunatics and Bako Bits

When people think of California, they think of something like SNL’s The Californians… a bunch of woven patio furniture lounging, iced-tea-drinking, bottled blonde, surfer types. And of course lots of gay orgies, vegetarians, and PETA protesters forcing tourists to smoke pot and listen to lectures by Noam Chomsky. Then, there’s Bakersfield. This is the real California. It’s a large agricultural town with an infrastructure not updated since the ’60s and maybe a rolling meth lab or three. This is the side of California that passed Proposition 8. This is the bulk of the Golden State. It was about time we played a show outside our Occupy Oakland and Hollyweird bubbles.

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We rolled into Bakersfield after a five hour drive at about four o’clock. The temperature outside was above 100° and climbing, well above some Bay Area pussies’ comfort zone. On our way in, what few people were in downtown were evidence of the city’s lack of support for the homeless, drug addicted and schizophrenic. Hey, maybe this place is more like the Bay Area than I thought!

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Entartete Kunts: The Exhibit: The Book: The Blog

BUY THIS BOOK! As an international taste-maker, when I talk, people listen. And I’m telling everyone now: Entartete Kunts, curated by Dennis Dread and featuring works from me and 41 other talented artists, is a must have book for lovers of art, the underground, underground art, and books about art from the underground.

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Where to buy it? That one is easy; you buy it from the publisher, the Ajna Offensive. You won’t find another deal like this, what with 340 full-colour pages for only half a Franklin. Why should you buy it? If you’re reading this blog, you should already have your answer; you’re a patron of all things excellent. If you don’t, well, you’re dumb. So let’s go back six years and maybe we can get it through your thick noggin.

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From the Ashes… B.C. Rich Ironbird

Musical instruments, good ones, are often compared to one’s children. Well, how many children are thrown in a case, plucked, hammered on, plugged into, or hanged? Don’t answer that. (Please, really, don’t.) Without these precious musical items, though, it’s hard to call oneself a musician. That is, lest ye fortunate to have the talent of Susan Boyle (hopefully not the face). My favorite, my child, my baby, my fifth limb… my B.C. Rich Ironbird. This thing is a mother fucker.

Wolves in the Throne Room (1D029315)
photo of moi © http://www.nandoonline.com/

It’s an American made (or at least assembled, I dunno) classic, with the big “R” inlay on the headstock indicating its origin in the land of the free. Birthed sometime around THIRTY FUCKING YEARS AGO, it’s got neck-through construction, a rosewood fretboard, and a simple one-knob configuration. Because metal don’t need a fucking tone knob. I scored it over a decade ago at a used-music shop in San Jose for a meager $300, during a period where “metal” was a dirty word and Prodigy was the band of the future (where are they know?). It’s been with me on countless tours and tons of recordings.

Imagine my heartbreak when the neck broke.

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Sewage 2.0, or Number Two is Poo

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, but I’ve been heaps busy. Though I’m forlorn to have starved the masses of my keen intellect and barbed wit, it’s been a necessary evil to hurl forward with a veritable slew of projects. Prepping for my wedding, a string of album layouts, recording, art… this website is but one of those projects.

No longer bound by Google (“do no evil, unless the NSA or the Chinese ask you to”), I’ve moved doktorsewage.com entirely onto a private server. I’ve rolled up my sleeves and gotten my itty bitty typing fingers dirty in the guts of WordPress, the amazing free and open source platform for building websites and blogs. Thank Bejebus, because I’m sick of hard coding html while I should be making art. Instead, now I can sift through CSS. A lateral move, really, except for the final result is far more satisfying.

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European Bluntkrieg 4

The Bavarian pigs sure had thrown us for a loop. On our way to Tilburg in the Netherlands, they’d made us leave our back line and our Scott behind. What bungling! We showed up for a show I’d booked just four days previous with no back line. Because I only have Skype on my phone and no international plan, I had to wait until we found a McDonald’s with free wifi one hour outside of Tilburg to inform the staff at Little Devil of our predicament. Need I have worried? To paraphrase my friend Luuk running the whole thing, “Hey man, you’re in the Netherlands. It’s all taken care of.”

 
In one hour, give or take, Luuk and friends at the Little Devil had organized an entire back line, including a five piece drum set, cymbals (which we stupidly left behind), two Marshall cabs, a Marshall 2000 TSL, some Line 6 guitar head, and a decent Trace-Elliot bass combo. This show was going to happen.

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European Bluntkrieg 3

Our adventure continued as we left Deutschland on a reverse-viking raid into Scandinavia. We we took to the sea like savage warriors of old, bringing death and destruction. Except, our death was only of rubber monsters and our boat was a big ass ferry that had an expensive breakfast menu.


Copenhagen awaited us with just the merest of shakedowns by German police preceding at the border. We lucked out that we only got a warning for two people being up in the loft, a 70€ fine each that they waived. And somebody ate something they forgot they had, and that’s all I’m saying about that.

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European Bluntkrieg 2

Those fucking Hall brothers. They were right. The Chunnel was pretty lame. Ya don’t even get ta see the train. But the hall we drove in looked pretty cool after we had watched Alien.

 
Escape from the U.K. 20 minutes later we were on French soil pointed towards Belgium. For me, things get more interesting once the language changes from English. Or American, as you prefer.
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