Exhumed in Japan

We headed out early the morning of July 5 to make it to Los Angeles Airport, shit hole of the West. We had to get their very early to take care of three things: checking in, visa forms for Japan, and having our last decent Mexican food for awhile. We made it into Japan without incident, besides maybe some leftover bean farts. 

Our first stop was Tokyo. We met with two members of what was to become our amazing fucking crew, Bastian and Benoit. In a weird twist, our hosts in Japan were French expats. Incroyable! We packed into the very, very tiny van, my sciatica flaring in full force after the long flight, and made our way to the Shinjuku region of Tokyo. 

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Japan: September 17

Waking up in the morning in Nagoya, I was reminded I don’t like Nagoya. According to Steve from Butcher ABC there are a lot of noisy grind bands from Nagoya. His theory is that is because there is shit all to do in this burg. That seems reasonable enough to me.

Or they're tense from fear of kaiju
Or they’re tense from fear of kaiju

Sean and I got up to get some breakfast and do a whole lot of nothing again. Eventually we made our way back to the hostel and it was time for us to go to the show. General Surgery was not going to be going as they were still sleeping. Swedes know how to get their party on. They haven’t quite mastered the quick recovery, however.

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Japan: September 16

Travel tip #2: Do not be a vegetarian in Japan. I thought it was hard to get something to eat in Spain, but at least they had cheese. Here, I have to find the rice, usually served up in some kind of ball form, and then find the one that doesn’t have a fishy surprise inside. It’s not like I care about the fish’s feelings or want to pet them, I just don’t care to have it in my stomach. Wasn’t Buddah a vegetarian? Apparently he was the kind that was a vegetarian but ate fish. To the people who say that: you are not a vegetarian. As an aside, apparently there is available, somewhere in Japan, squid ink pizza. If I ate that, would I be vegetarian? Technically it’s like milking a cow, but I bet they don’t keep them alive on farms to milk.

Yay. Broccoli.
Yay. Broccoli.

We left Nagoya, the most boring city in all the world to head to Osaka… eventually. All those stories about the hustle and bustle here? Lies.

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Japan: September 15

We got into Japan with little incident. In fact, a very little incident. The first thing Sean noticed was the slightly lower line dividers on the way to customs. In this land, we will be like unto GIANTS.


Naru of Butcher ABC and formerly C.S.S.O. met up with us at the airport and we were soon acquainted with one of the many completely uncomfortable compact vans we would be forced to become accustomed to. It was quite a journey through some traffic and rain to get to our destination in a tiny suburb of Tokyo. I was luckily exposed to pictures of General Surgery exposing themselves the night before. Too bad we weren’t there. They had gone to Tokyo, so we decided to start drinking their alcohol. Most of it was vodka, so eventually we gave up and just got some beer. From a vending machine. Now THAT is awesome.

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Japan: September 12

Ah, Japan! Impaled successfully makes it to Japan without a hitch! We’re fucking stars, and nothing can go wrong!

Impaled flyer japan

Yeah, right.

On the anniversary of September 11th… yes, that most important date that is our friend Boomer’s Birthday… we were stymied. After getting an early start, hitting reams of traffic on the way to the airport, braving security, and getting our generally foolish selves organized and ready to go, the terrorists won again on this 9/11. They hate Impaled’s freedom. Word has it, they’re not too fond of our music either.

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