Hangar 18

I love this song. Actually, I should refrain my overarching zealotry… I don’t love this song. It’s a pretty damn good song, but what I love is one line it. One particular line that always makes me laugh out loud.

“Military Intelligence, two words combined that can’t make sense”

Oh Dave… you sooo just ravaged the status quo! You go girl! You’re gonna change minds with your music!

First off, let’s parse that sentence out. “Two words combined…” Those words aren’t really combined. Maybe they’re juxtaposed, but more accurately, “military” is modifying “intelligence” as an adjective. Combining them would be “militaryintelligence” and that just doesn’t make any fucking sense. So, I guess those words combined really “can’t make sense.” I’ve actually just disproven my own theorem, and Dave triumphs as brilliant!

Secondly, though, let’s suppose that what he means is “the use of the adjective modifier ‘military’ nullifies the definition of ‘intelligence’ by it’s very use.” Okay, I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant. Now, what I’d like to see Dave do is build a missile. Maybe he should track a submarine. Wage a ground war, lately, Dave? Certainly, American intelligence gathering efforts could be rightly criticized, but I would hardly take seriously the criticism of a guy singing about aliens in hangar bay.

Thirdly, what Dave was going for is what’s known as an oxymoron (like “jumbo shrimp” or “metal journalist”), but instead he just came up with a “moron.” I thought I’d come up with a few more lines in the style of Mr. Mustaine’s, to properly convey what he was going for in his lyrical word play.

• familiarized acquaintance, two words combined that can’t make sense
• alcoholic temperance, two words combined that can’t make sense
• humbling arrogance, two words combined that can’t make sense
• rebellious obeyance, two words combined that can’t make sense
• malicious benevolence, two words combined that can’t make sense
• submerging buoyance, two words combined that can’t make sense
• sickening convalescence, two words combined that can’t make sense
• melancholic ebullience, two words combined that can’t make sense
• incandescent fluorescense, two words combined that can’t make sense
• Medieval Renaissance, two words combined that can’t make sense
… and so on, and so on.

Another funny thing is look up the definition for “can’t” and you come across “cant” which is defined as 1. Monotonous talk filled with platitudes and 2. Hypocritically pious language. This is certainly true and befitting of the new, post-9/11 Dave Mustaine. Now, he is the war hawk who trusted our President when he said all “Military Intelligence” pointed to Iraq having WMDs. And I quote…

“It needed to happen. The Americans went in there to liberate Iraq. A lot of people dont think they were being liberated because France didnt join in, Germany didnt join in and neither did Russia…. People in the music business, in America, are talking bad about Bush. You know what? Shut the fuck up! You’re a musician; you dont know a thing about running a country!”

I think new Dave just told old Dave to shut the fuck up. And to wit, this last example of oxymoronism…

headbanging conservatist, two words combined that can’t make sense

mustaine_flag_guitar
photo courtesy http://www.rareelectricguitar.com

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