Category: Music

We’re Cold Slither part 2

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In my previous posting, I detailed the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I had to be in the band Cold Slither and become a real-life part of G.I. Joe, my favorite toyline of all time. Well, turns out it was more than a once-in-a-lifetime experience, because we got to take a bite out of the Big Apple last October.

Cold Slither hanging out in Hell's Kitchen

I knew before we played at San Diego Comic Con the previous July that there was a Cold Slither comic coming out in October. New York City Comic Con was in October. If we didn’t fuck up our initial appearance, I figured it was a shoe in that we would play in New York. Well, even before we left the backstage in San Diego, the Hasbro crew were like “so, we heard you’ll be with us in New York.” Can I get a “hell yeah.”

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We’re Cold Slither part 1

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Towards the end of January, 2024, I got a call from Gus Rios of Gruesome and Left to Die. I didn’t answer the phone, however, as I was busy at work. I was like, I’ll call Gus later. It can’t be important, we’re not in a band together, but sometimes we chat about toys. Whatever new G.I. Joe thing is coming out, he can tell me about it later. Then I get text from Matt Harvey who is a bandmate to both me and Gus. Matt’s is insistent that I call Gus back immediately. It’s urgent. So I do… and Gus does want to talk about a new G.I. Joe thing coming out. And the new thing is us. We’re going to be the band from the G.I. Joe cartoon. We’re going to be Cold Slither.

Cold Slither band photo

In some backroom deal with Tomax and Xamot, Gerardo at Reigning Phoenix Music had gotten the rights to create Cold Slither in real life and to put out an album. Gerardo, also a toy collector, had called his old friend Gus, knowing that Gus had expressed an interest in doing Cold Slither as a real band. Hell, he and I had talked about it in 2020, but I thought it was more of a lark: a pipe dream. Now Gus, with a little bit of help from Matt, had the deal to write and record an actual album. And we were going to play San Diego Comic-Con. And it was all based around the release of a new toy showcasing the band. And it’s official. We’re toys. Continue reading “We’re Cold Slither part 1” →

October Surprise

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So, after coming back from Hawai’i with Exhumed and playing a one off with Impaled at the California Death Fest pre-fest show one day later, I had less than a week to make preparations; it was time for the slack-jawed hooded menaces to once again hit the road and for some good old fashioned monster-on-monster crime. This was to be immediately followed by another short Halloween run with Exhumed. FML.

Our first gig was at the Phoenix Theater in Petaluma. I’ve played here twice with Exhumed before, once with Revocation. The other time was my very first show with Exhumed in the 1990s where I happened to give myself a nasty little scar on my chest by cutting myself, purposefully, on stage, in a moment of extreme edge-lord-ness. Don’t let your babies grow up to be edge-lords.

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Volcanic Strike 2 with Exhumed

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Back in 2020, when Exhumed was planning to jet set to Japan, South Korea, New Zealand, and Australia, I told Matt we should book a show in Hawai’i on the way. “Why? he asked. It’s a reasonable question, to be fair. It’s a smaller population, it’s expensive to get there, infrequently booked by bands, and we would’ve certainly lost money doing it. My only reason was because I wanted to flex that I’ve played Hawai’i. Well, the world shut down, all the plans were cancelled.

Somehow, however, I willed into being Exhumed playing in Hawai’i. In summer of 2024, the people behind Volcanic Strike made the call and we were booked for an October date. Being part of a fest was a much more attractive offer. Sure, airfare and lodging were sure to eat into our budget significantly, but now we’d at least have a guaranteed audience of festival attendees. We made the plans, and the plans grew. It’s fucking trip to Hawai’i; there was no way we were not going to take advantage of a trip to the lush island of Maui.

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Getting FUBAR In Edmonton

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Our band of hooded maniacs was asked to play the first ever Infest Edmonton Metal Festival over Labor Day weekend. We would all have the day off, so why not labor over our love of music? We headed out to check out the scene in the Energy Province.

We got some free drinks and booze courtesy of Sean’s fancy ass credit card that got us into the airport lounge. That was good because we’d just spend almost $600 on luggage fees. Even though we whittled it down to just two Enki double-guitar cases for all 3 stringers, all those monster costumes and merch add up. And West Jet was in no mood to cut as a deal. I always tell my dad our guarantees so we look like big shots, but truth is, all that money gets eaten real quick with expenses for a dumb gimmick band like ours.

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Who Wants Some Head

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Sebastian from Exhumed was getting pretty tired of the same old spark guitar gag he was doing for the Exhumed set over the last few years. For our Decayed Decades tour, Matt suggested we bring back an old gag, the guillotine. Sebastian would solo, then Dr. Philthy would come out and behead him. Exhumed had done the guillotine bit with Bud, the old guitar player, years ago, but that severed head looked REALLY bad. I offered to make something a little bit better for Sebastian.

I had very little time to get this together between tours, so it was definitely done under a crunch. And there were a few missteps on the way to making this…

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Exhumed in the Land of Oz

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It was a longer flight than I’d anticipated from Japan to Sydney, Australia. It was about nine hours and I was just slowly doling out my ibuprofen to deal with the summer of sciatica. There was some more customs hassles to deal with getting into Oz, namely a carnet, a document we had to provide that listed ALL our gear, computers, etc. It went as well as it could, and we entered the airport to find our lovely host, Anthony of Your Mate Bookings, holding a sign displaying a traditional Australian greeting.

I can’t lie, Anthony’s handsomeness put me off a bit. It’s hard to trust a sexy guy who’s decided to denigrate themselves by working in the metal scene. But his humor and typical Australian friendliness did a lot to ease my nerves. He ended up being a great host and our adventures in Australia would prove to be extremely positive.

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Exhumed in Japan

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We headed out early the morning of July 5 to make it to Los Angeles Airport, shit hole of the West. We had to get their very early to take care of three things: checking in, visa forms for Japan, and having our last decent Mexican food for awhile. We made it into Japan without incident, besides maybe some leftover bean farts. 

Our first stop was Tokyo. We met with two members of what was to become our amazing fucking crew, Bastian and Benoit. In a weird twist, our hosts in Japan were French expats. Incroyable! We packed into the very, very tiny van, my sciatica flaring in full force after the long flight, and made our way to the Shinjuku region of Tokyo. 

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