April 11

When we got to Lille, France, it was great. I got out of my coffin, stumbled downstairs, and sounded like Barry White. Sean and I went for a walk, and there was nothing and nothing open. Fucking Sunday in Europe sucks. 


This show was at another rec center for kids. I saw all these miniature landscapes apparently for the kids to play Warhammer games. I thought it was too bad our friend Eric wasn’t on tour with us… he could’ve critiqued their paint jobs. 

There was a really beautiful girl when we got there preparing our catering. Some of the people on the tour blatantly started pouring on the charm when they saw the promoter come in and kiss her. At that point, they stopped trying. This hunt is becoming more and more hilarious. 

Brian from Monstrosity came in looking like a god damned plum. He wasn’t sure he could do the show. His band members said “Either you’re in the hospital or you’re on stage.” I thought that was really sympathetic and understanding of them. Don’t you? 

There were two locals this night, one of which was Pitbulls in the Nursery. They made my head hurt. Not like they were bad, but I think they must’ve all been math students. They were figuring out quadratic equations on their guitars while the drummer was checking Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Pretty fucking weird. 

Sven from Aborted came to this show and luckily I wasn’t wasted like when we were in his home town. Instead, he hadn’t slept in two days. Good times. It’s good to hang out with Sven though, because he’s a good guy for one, and two, he gives us four idiots a good perspective on metal since he’s just god damn smarter than us. 

We went on, and it was a little odd at first, but the crowd warmed up about half way through and really started moshing and having a good time. This was good as Laurent from Listenable was seeing us there for the first time. After we played we finally met the French Bastard, as he was introduced, and he was as cool as everyone said. At least, he bought us beer, so that’s all I need. 

We met Ghoreghouls’n’Ghosts from the band Abyssal Shoryuken. Nice guy, and I’ve never heard a better cover of the songs from Tetris in my life. It was cool, until he saw me smoking. Damn this blog. Yes, I get stressed and I can’t quite quit. But I never said I’d quit, my friend, just stop… occasionally. Anyway, I know he and his girlfriend will likely read this, so hello!!!

At the end of the night, we delighted the club workers by making fun of the Hed P.E. posters there, as apparently they came and really pissed them all off. They just pissed me off by looking like retards. 

Jason apparently stayed talking to those people about Southpark until 6 in the morning. We went to the bus and watched our soundguy, Yanich (spelling?) get incredibly loaded on vodka. Those poles can drink a lot of vodka. By the end of the night, he was spouting but three phrases quite loudly. “Why????!?!?!” “I don’t KNOW!!!!” “Nevermind…” Somehow, I thought that was the most brilliant philosophical moment of this whole tour. Then he fell down, followed by us having to stop him from pissing on the driver’s seat. 

The next day was Paris. I asked Eric from Deeds of Flesh what there was to see in Paris. He said, “Graphitti.” He was right. 

Raul left with Mike and Sean from Deeds of Flesh to go see the Eiffel Tower. They said they’d be back for soundcheck at 5. 5 came around, and no go. We had Reno from Vile play with us. By about 7, I got pissed. At 7:30, I got worried and pissed. No Raul. 

I spoke with Vile about switching, and felt really bad. Finally, it was 7:50, we were supposed to be on, and instead, Jason, Sean and I started taking our shit down. Then I heard Mike, “Raul is in the building!” He came up laughing, and Jason, normally so calm, tore into him. “Where the fuck were you!!!!” I don’t think Mike knew what to do. We almost got into a huge fight, but instead we all shut up and just started playing. We only started 5 minutes late, just by the skin of our teeth. 

I had to get out afterwards, I was too pissed, though the show went okay. Our friend Olivie took me and Sean around to Notre Dame, got some food, and we went back to the club and were finally able to laugh about the whole thing. Apparently they’d gone to the top of the tower, and didn’t realize how fucking long it would take to get down. They ran the entire way back to the club, and at some point, Raul got caught in a door on the subway. Good! The little creep, worrying me like that.

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