Fucking Bridge and Tunnel

Well, to me, it felt like I was in Akira. Mama Myers and I were just trying to go get some lunch in downtown. All of a sudden from behind a large building comes a twenty foot high negro angel. Fucking SURREAL. Then, annoying. A Christmas parade, in Oakland! I mean, sure, the snow flows here all year long, but I thought the cops were working on stopping that. In any case, we had to hoof it across the parade just as it was starting. I enjoyed the three youths who were hiding under the cover of air to smoke some pot and make the parade more interesting. I mean… they had a Felix the Cat balloon. Do kids even know who the fuck that is, or in true ghetto style, did Oakland get a hand-me-down balloon?

Jesse’s benefit was rad. And by rad, I mean a lot of hipsters came and paid lots of money to see a lot of really shitty bands. But topping off the night was Stromcrow… I wish these guys would get it together to record, because they goddamn smoke. Everytime I see them, they get better. Even after losing a guitar player… I think Nate was holding back before, and last night utilized his “Ass Kicker 3000” amp. Brian’s vox were more audible than I can remember. And the best part… in true Stormcrow fashion, every single jerk in that band was complaining about being sick or partying too hard the night before. Classic.

Happy birthday to Action Jackson! We went to go say hi to Melynda and wish her a happy birthday… and I was cruelly reminded why I don’t bother going to San Francisco much, anymore… God damn bridge and tunnel kids. Now, I suppose technically I’m one of them, but I’m pretty sure San Francisco signed a treaty with Oakland exempting us from bridge and tunnel status. So fuck the hipsters with their tech burns, and your talk of starting fights, and the pussy you couldn’t get at the bar, and your Rancid shirts, and your ghetto talking, and your burrito flinging… you’re assholes. Get back to your job as assistant suit-and-tie jerkoid in Marin and I’ll see ya next weekend. I bitch because I love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.