Exhumed – Red Asphalt: Kuntswerk

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“How come there is the front of a car in our practice space?” asked Sean McGrath. I answered something like lol don’t worry about it, Exhumed stuff. And also “I’ve got $50 worth of pig guts in my fridge rn.” And, basically, that’s all it took to create the album cover art for Exhumed’s newest record, Red Asphalt.

Exhumed Red Asphalt cover

Amongst the Exhumed camp, we’d been discussing for a while about doing another photo cover ala Gore Metal. I’ve been back in the band for years, but no album seemed to have called for such a grotesque creation. That is, until we came up for the concept of Red Asphalt. Continue reading “Exhumed – Red Asphalt: Kuntswerk” →

Making the Cold Slither XMess Music Video

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In late November, 2024, Gerardo from Reigning Phoenix Music hit me up and said he wanted me more closely involved in the next Cold Slither music video. They’d gotten the rights to use footage from an episode of the G.I. Joe cartoon, “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town,” and Gus had written and recorded a song to go with it. He wanted me in creatively as a visionary type fella, but probably more as a huge G.I. Joe fan.

We started a group chat with Costin Chioreanu, who’d done awesome animation for the first four Cold Slither videos. I pitched an idea, and that’s when Costin dropped the bomb that he was already over-booked by RPM and wouldn’t have time to start anything except a simple edit maybe half-way through December. That was understandable but sucked for us. A Christmas video needed to come out before Christmas! So, I thought, I can edit an old show; I already do it for the videos we play during the live show. And hey, I could do a whole lot more if I put my mind to it!

Cold Slither Christmas Video setup

I was going to do stop-motion animation and make this an old school holiday special, courtesy of the greatest heavy metal band in the world, Cold Slither. Now, I just needed to figure out how to do stop motion animation! Continue reading “Making the Cold Slither XMess Music Video” →

We’re Cold Slither… and a Fatal Fluffy, too

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I wanted to make this costume as soon as I heard the Cold Slither song “These Fluffies are Fatal.” Unfortunately for the SDCC crowd, I was already too busy putting together the band’s costumes. I promised the Hasbro crew, however, that if we got to play again, I would definitely trot out this silly character from the G.I. Joe cartoon for the show. And I did.

Fatal Fluffy with Sgt. Slaughter
And I eventually got put in a cobra clutch by Sgt. Slaughter

With no budget to speak of beyond my own wallet, I was limited. But, having been in Ghoul and always working without a budget, I was resourceful! Continue reading “We’re Cold Slither… and a Fatal Fluffy, too” →

We’re Cold Slither part 2

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In my previous posting, I detailed the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I had to be in the band Cold Slither and become a real-life part of G.I. Joe, my favorite toyline of all time. Well, turns out it was more than a once-in-a-lifetime experience, because we got to take a bite out of the Big Apple last October.

Cold Slither hanging out in Hell's Kitchen

I knew before we played at San Diego Comic Con the previous July that there was a Cold Slither comic coming out in October. New York City Comic Con was in October. If we didn’t fuck up our initial appearance, I figured it was a shoe in that we would play in New York. Well, even before we left the backstage in San Diego, the Hasbro crew were like “so, we heard you’ll be with us in New York.” Can I get a “hell yeah.”

Continue reading “We’re Cold Slither part 2” →

We’re Cold Slither part 1

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Towards the end of January, 2024, I got a call from Gus Rios of Gruesome and Left to Die. I didn’t answer the phone, however, as I was busy at work. I was like, I’ll call Gus later. It can’t be important, we’re not in a band together, but sometimes we chat about toys. Whatever new G.I. Joe thing is coming out, he can tell me about it later. Then I get text from Matt Harvey who is a bandmate to both me and Gus. Matt’s is insistent that I call Gus back immediately. It’s urgent. So I do… and Gus does want to talk about a new G.I. Joe thing coming out. And the new thing is us. We’re going to be the band from the G.I. Joe cartoon. We’re going to be Cold Slither.

Cold Slither band photo

In some backroom deal with Tomax and Xamot, Gerardo at Reigning Phoenix Music had gotten the rights to create Cold Slither in real life and to put out an album. Gerardo, also a toy collector, had called his old friend Gus, knowing that Gus had expressed an interest in doing Cold Slither as a real band. Hell, he and I had talked about it in 2020, but I thought it was more of a lark: a pipe dream. Now Gus, with a little bit of help from Matt, had the deal to write and record an actual album. And we were going to play San Diego Comic-Con. And it was all based around the release of a new toy showcasing the band. And it’s official. We’re toys. Continue reading “We’re Cold Slither part 1” →

October Surprise

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So, after coming back from Hawai’i with Exhumed and playing a one off with Impaled at the California Death Fest pre-fest show one day later, I had less than a week to make preparations; it was time for the slack-jawed hooded menaces to once again hit the road and for some good old fashioned monster-on-monster crime. This was to be immediately followed by another short Halloween run with Exhumed. FML.

Our first gig was at the Phoenix Theater in Petaluma. I’ve played here twice with Exhumed before, once with Revocation. The other time was my very first show with Exhumed in the 1990s where I happened to give myself a nasty little scar on my chest by cutting myself, purposefully, on stage, in a moment of extreme edge-lord-ness. Don’t let your babies grow up to be edge-lords.

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Volcanic Strike 2 with Exhumed

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Back in 2020, when Exhumed was planning to jet set to Japan, South Korea, New Zealand, and Australia, I told Matt we should book a show in Hawai’i on the way. “Why? he asked. It’s a reasonable question, to be fair. It’s a smaller population, it’s expensive to get there, infrequently booked by bands, and we would’ve certainly lost money doing it. My only reason was because I wanted to flex that I’ve played Hawai’i. Well, the world shut down, all the plans were cancelled.

Somehow, however, I willed into being Exhumed playing in Hawai’i. In summer of 2024, the people behind Volcanic Strike made the call and we were booked for an October date. Being part of a fest was a much more attractive offer. Sure, airfare and lodging were sure to eat into our budget significantly, but now we’d at least have a guaranteed audience of festival attendees. We made the plans, and the plans grew. It’s fucking trip to Hawai’i; there was no way we were not going to take advantage of a trip to the lush island of Maui.

Continue reading “Volcanic Strike 2 with Exhumed” →

Getting FUBAR In Edmonton

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Our band of hooded maniacs was asked to play the first ever Infest Edmonton Metal Festival over Labor Day weekend. We would all have the day off, so why not labor over our love of music? We headed out to check out the scene in the Energy Province.

We got some free drinks and booze courtesy of Sean’s fancy ass credit card that got us into the airport lounge. That was good because we’d just spend almost $600 on luggage fees. Even though we whittled it down to just two Enki double-guitar cases for all 3 stringers, all those monster costumes and merch add up. And West Jet was in no mood to cut as a deal. I always tell my dad our guarantees so we look like big shots, but truth is, all that money gets eaten real quick with expenses for a dumb gimmick band like ours.

Continue reading “Getting FUBAR In Edmonton” →